The Parking Lot

I was excited when Virginia Pilot journalist Denise Watson replied to my email about doing a story on Faith Inclusion Network and our upcoming Gifts of the Heart Gala.  I always love to share about FIN and the work we do. After Denise and I talked on the phone, we decided to meet up at my church, Blessed Sacrament Catholic in Norfolk, VA one weekend before Mass to have a picture taken of my daughter Samantha participating at church, a shining example of inclusion as a person severely affected by autism but very much part of our church family.

I knew our Pastor, Fr. Joe Metzger would be fine with the plan, he has always been supportive of our efforts to include Samantha and the various cameras and reporters in the past coming in to film or take photos.  I should have known it would not be that easy this time around though.  Samantha’s anxiety, built up over the last few weeks for what is as of yet undetermined causes, kicked into high gear and she refused to get out of our van when we got to the church parking lot.

Samantha with Fr. Joe, Pastor at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in June, 2017

“Really Samantha?” I thought, “Here we are, trying to share about our wonderful inclusion experience and you won’t even get out of the car!” I dashed inside the church to tell Fr. Joe that Samantha was super stressed and not willing to come inside the church building.  He followed me outside to talk with her himself.  Samantha absolutely adores Fr. Joe so I thought he might convince her to get out of the van.

There in the parking lot we all gathered around Samantha.  Denise, the journalist and Bill, the photographer, could not have been nicer or more understanding. While Denise and I chatted, Bill snapped a few photos of Fr. Joe talking through the window to Samantha.

It wasn’t until the next day that I could organize my thoughts over this whole experience. On the one hand, I was sad and disappointed.  In addition to being worried about what is wrong with Samantha, I felt frustrated. We have worked so hard to get Samantha comfortable at church over the years and it has seemed to pay off. We generally sit together as a family in the sanctuary now and she is usually relaxed and happy, often wanting to linger after Mass. Her current behavior is unusual and a mystery. It is hard on all of us when we do not know what is wrong.

But another part of me realized that I was also very grateful.  I appreciate the people who meet us where we are, even if it is in the church parking lot.  And isn’t that what we really need to do when it comes to our families affected by disability? We need to meet them wherever they are, give support and encouragement through the challenges and let them know that they are not forgotten, even if unusual circumstances make attending church difficult or impossible.

So today I choose to be grateful. I am thankful for all those who love and support Samantha and our family, especially those connected through our church family.

I am sure Samantha will get through this period and we will be back in the pews soon. For now, I pray that this experience is used to touch someone else and be a reminder that sometimes, when you can’t go to church, church has to come to you, even if that is in the parking lot.

Amen.

Karen and Samantha Jackson